068 – Perth and Surrounds (Swan River, Rottnest Island, Kadidjiny Park) – Taz-I-Am

Do you like travelling with your fam?

Do you like it, Taz-I-Am?

Do you like going on a river boat cruise?

Up the Swan River,

To get some booze?

Do you like playing with your sister?

Or with your mom?

(I saw you kissed her).

How about seeing Marilyn Monroe?

Or hanging out with the captain? No?

Go anywhere on God’s green Earth,

Even to downtown Perth.

Do you like travelling with your fam?

Do you like it Taz-I-Am? 

Perhaps hop on a ferry ride?

To Rottnest Island? You decide.

Called Wadjemup by the Noongar,

You need to get around without a car.

How about a chariot? Give it a try.

Quick, quick! Before you start to cry!

Check out The Basin with your troupe.

Aw, man, Taz! Did you eat quokka poop?

Don’t let him get your crackers now!

There’ll be none left for you to chow.

Take in the sights down all the trails.

It might help to arrest your wails.

Past the salt lakes,

To Oliver Hill.

Your sister, Ciel, knows the drill.

("Atten-SHUN!”)

What’s that? I no longer hear you weep…

Oh, that’s just because you’ve gone to sleep.

Do you like travelling with your fam?

Do you like it Taz-I-Am?

Will you go here or there?

Would you do it on a dare?

Try it! Try it! You will see,

Come to Kadidjiny Park with your family!

Work on firming up your caboose,

It’s all themed after Dr. Seuss!

Ciel can look out for the Cat in the Hat.

Now, c'mon, what do you think about that?

Okay, okay I’ll give it a go,

I’ll try to swing to and fro.

This place isn’t all that bad!

In fact, it makes me sort of glad.

Getting on board with family bath time helps.

Did someone say “Michael Phelps”?

I LOVE travelling with my fam!

(As long as blankie’s in my hand.)

I love it, love it, TAZ-I-AM!

067 –Western Australia (Lancelin, The Pinnacles, Yanchep) - Vacation Squared

With all the hard work we’ve been putting into our travels, clearly we were in desperate need of a vacation…from our vacation.  We consulted with expert slacker, Uncle Tom, who offered the sound advice, “sponge off some rellies”.  So we called up my Aunt Sandra’s sister’s surf bum son, Craig, to hook us up.

He did not disappoint. First he and his partner, Peta, conned his mom (Auntie Barbara) into springing for dinner at the Little Creatures Brewery in Freemantle.  Regrettably, we were so excited (i.e. our usual gong show) that we didn’t actually take any photos of Auntie Barbara, but there’s gotta be a chance that this random photo I pulled off the internet was taken on the same day.

That’s for sure her!

In a move that they would likely regret later, Craig and Peta then invited us to their beach house (140km north) in Lancelin for the weekend.

Not too shabby.

Of course, being a double vacation meant that we had to do twice as much of everything.

1. Twice the natural wonders.

The Pinnacles – a vast collection of limestone formations uncovered by blowing sands thousands of years ago.

Many of which are conveniently phallic…

Lancelin Sand Dunes – a vast gathering of shifting sands as far as the eye can see.

Or can’t see.

Yanchep National Park – Highlights included the unique formations in Crystal Cave,

And the wild koalas,

The lowlight was the 45 min we spent retracing our steps searching for Taz’s blankie after he carelessly tossed it overboard while cruising in the stroller.

Close call.

2. Twice the beach time.

“Craig! I told you we shoulda brought our boards!”

3. Twice the “extreme” sporting

(That one’s for Rita.)

4. Twice the gluttony,

Including a 24-hr coronary artery disease inducing steak/bacon/steak/steak & bacon meal streak that would make any carnivore proud. Not to mention the daily fresh-from-the-bakery loaves of white bread, and excessive amounts of vegemite on toast (keeping in mind any quantity of vegemite is excessive).

5. Twice the personal grooming.

“Time to brush your tooth, Taz!”

6.  Twice the leisure.

7. And twice the partying.

Including heroic efforts by Britt to stay up past ten o’clock, four nights in a row!

All things considered, not a bad run.

So, after indulging in Craig and Peta’s hospitality, eating all their food, drinking all their booze, harassing their dogs,

And essentially over-staying our welcome by about 72hrs, we closed the book on Lancelin,

And our double vacation.

Back to the grind.