041 – Kaua’i, Hawai’i – The Fifth Element

As our Polynesian tour continues on the island of Kaua’i, we have come to embrace our native surroundings.

Like the great Kahunas of days past, our existence has become intertwined with the worldly elements. Elements that have, at times, threatened our very existence.  Fortunately, the recent arrival of Dan and Cheryl bolstered our numbers and strengthened our resolve.

Mother Nature has tested our mettle, and we have persevered…

1. Earth

The rugged landscapes of the “Garden Isle” have been no match for our hardy crew. 

We have navigated forest trails,

Conquered mountain treks,

And beheld the majesty and expansive views of the Waimea Canyon.

2. Wind/Air

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about the passing effects of Britt’s prune juice or Cheryl’s Metamucil.

More “wind beneath your wings”,

Having the wind in your hair,

Going into thin air,

Airing out a Frisbee long bomb,

("I'm open!!")

And catching some big air.

Oh, okay. And the flatus bit, too.

3. Water

The essence of life...and beer.

We have bathed in its beauty,

Taken in its miraculous creatures,

Both visually,

(Humpback Whales off the North Shore)

And gastronomically.

(Ahi-Tuna three ways)

We have imbibed its vitality,

(After waiting an hour and fifteen minutes for the painstakingly slow 18-year-old shave ice girl to make our four glorified Sno Cones, while holding her screaming baby, moping up a smashed bottle of flavoured syrup, and arguing with her boyfriend on the phone about who’s mom is supposed to be babysitting…)

And we have run for the hills (with all our worldly possessions) at 2:00 am when its awesome might threatened to wash us out to sea, after the earthquake in Japan sent a tsunami screaming towards us at 600 km/h.

A threat that turned out to be rather lackluster and resulted in us needlessly spending five and a half hours snuggling in our rental car at the lookout car park,

While we waited for the “all clear” so the police would let us back down the hill to our untouched accommodation.

Cheryl and Dan promptly rushed off to let each other know they were ok.

4. Fire

Our arrival in Hawai’i has surely captured the attention of Pele, goddess of volcanoes.  She welcome us by having the Kilauea Cauldron (on the Big Island), which has been sputtering lava for the last 28 years, spice things up by ejecting liquid hot magma 20 metres into the air. Prompting an immediate email from Grampa and Grandma Bearss, and the obvious response from us, “What volcano?”

We could not in good conscience traverse the land of the red, white and blue without embracing that great American pastime…the all-you-can-eat-buffet. And what better way to do it than with wood-fired, brick oven pizza?

The $10 pitchers were just a bonus.

Forty-three slices of pizza, a half-pound of pasta, ten chicken wings, five platefuls of salad, and two pitchers later, we were fully primed for an intense round of Belly Blowout.

Friday, at Dan’s monster birthday bash, 

Ciel helped Dan save his homemade ice cream cake from a fiery demise.

But, things truly heated up on Sunday evening when I was mid-shower and Britt came running into the bathroom screaming that the oven was on fire.  I ran out to find Cheryl and Dan scrambling to respond as a towering inferno threatened to envelope the kitchen. Only after we managed to douse the flames with a wet blanket did it come to my attention that my bath towel had failed to join the excitement.

It was a little nuts.

Needless to say, my homemade tortilla chips were NOT a resounding success.

In the face of these tumultuous endeavours, we have braved the elements and lived to tell our tale. Tomorrow brings the arrival of Dan’s brother Rick and his girlfriend Sarah. Hopefully, they too will be up for the challenge.

Oh, I almost forgot. The Fifth Element…?

5. The Muffin